Monday, July 6, 2009

The Whole Story

After a very busy weekend, I'm finally back to tell you of it all.

The most important thing happened on Friday. I was all set to go to bed early, because me and a bunch of work buddies were planning on going to Calaway Park the next morning. Then BG texts, and of course, we end up going out for food.

We chit-chat, and I try to be involved, and not too caught up with my thoughts. He talked on the way back to his place, so I didn't really have a moment to bring anything up until we were actually outside his place.

Last Tuesday I had pretty much figured out that this wasn't going to happen. And so I said to him that this isn't going anywhere. He agreed. I asked him if he ever expected it to, and he said yes.

We talked a lot more, about a lot of things, and he said that he was hesitant to get back together with me because he knew that he hurt me, mostly because he doesn't have the time for me that I want him to have, and he's used to not seeing his girlfriend for days at a time, but I'm not, and he doesn't want to hurt me more.

I then replied, after warning him that it was a spiteful comment, that in that case, he shouldn't have made me fall back in love with him. He said that I made it sound like I had never fallen out of love with him. To which I told him that I'm a romantic. That's not what I do.

He said it was my choice whether we should get back together or not, and he's neutral, and it's my choice whether we stop now while we're still friends, or get together and potentially ruin what could be a friendship by trying to force a relationship into it. He still wants to be in my life, whether it be as boy or as boyfriend.

At that point, I said it would be as boy. I kind of knew that was how it would end up, even if I was given the choice, but I wasn't completely sure until listening to that last shpeal. The more he talked, the more I heard answers I didn't want to hear, and the more I thought that the guy who I want would not be saying any of this. To the contrary, the guy I want would not just be saying he didn't want to hurt me, he would actually be proactive in trying not to hurt me, rather than just accepting that he would still do it, and he would definitely not be neutral in that whole deal, he would be saying that he wants to be with me. Anyways.

He sort of suggested a kiss goodbye, but I shot that down. He doesn't seem to understand the whole 'personal space' thing after a breakup. Even though this wasn't a real breakup, but even so.

Of course, that meant I got a total of 4 hours of sleep and then I had to get up early for Calaway Park. Which sucked. But the day was fun, besides HG rear ending me on our way to park the cars. Fun. Now I have a call an insurance person tomorrow. There's not even any real damage, but Dad still mentioned that if they could fix what did happen, that would be good and I don't even know what I'm going to say.

And mini-donuts are awesome. We got caught in a freak rain downpour at the park, and all the rides closed for about 20 minutes, and everybody was hiding out beneath the tents around the park. That was eventful.

I went to the bar after a 2 hour power nap that night. The bar part was fun, but then we moved over to the dance section, which wasn't as fun. Not many people dance at The Drum and Monkey and the music's not great, and there was a bunch of older guys in cowboy hats. I have nothing against cowboy hats, I actually really like them, but they seemed to be all older guys, which wasn't so fun. Plus, I wasn't drinking all that much, so I think I have to have a lot more to drink before I start dancing with older cowboys. So as soon as my mood turned for the worse, I jumped in a cab and headed home.

Which was not a bad plan, seeing as I had to be up early anyways to go to Drumheller with HG and a bunch of other friends. Which was also a fun trip, and a got a decent sleep before hand. We did the Museum, Reptile World (I held a snake), the World's Biggest Dinosaur, and the Hoo Doos. Which a little bit of getting lost in between, but it was all part of the experience. Great views. I love the Alberta land, it's gorgeous.

Didn't do much today except call RT to finalize plans for Stampede on Wednesday, and Taylor Swift. We're very excited for that. Dad got me a pass for meet and greet beforehand, so that's another thing to look excited for.

I also had to ask Mom for some money for that day, because after this weekend, and as I'm barely working over the summer, I'm broke. Thinking of applying for the Jack Singer as an usher. HG is, and MM's even thinking of applying to UTS, which would be a blast. Kind of worrying about working two jobs, even if they are ushering jobs. I have a habit of biting off more than I can chew. Might talk to Mom and Dad, though I'm pretty sure they'll be worried about it too, and more likely than not will not exactly be thrilled with the idea.

Until the next big thing,


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