Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The 'I miss you'

Holy cow. And I thought all that I'd have to blog about today was me and friends EG and RK went to the movies yesterday to see My Sister's Keeper. No way.

BG texted tonight, asking the usual, if I would want to go out for food, because he was getting off work on time. I, of course, said yes. I like hanging out with him, it's fun.

I was also happy that I'd have the chance to show off my nice pretty purple halter top, which looks awesome, but because I had no real plans today, didn't get to show off much. Now it had a purpose.

Anyways, shortly after we decide on that, he texted:

"What would you say if I said...I really miss you?...:("

Yup. That is what he said. There were so many thoughts going through my mind, I finally texted back:

"That's a good question. I don't really know. Why don't you try that tonight and we'll see what comes out?"

So I pick him up, late, since they closed off the ramp off the highway to his work, and I tried a stupid detour and got completely turned around. But I got there, and we went for food. He even suggested we go to the Dennys (which is really the only thing open after 11) on 16th, as opposed to the one on Barlow, which is right next to his place. I agree, wondering if he's doing this so that he can spend more time with me. Thinking of it now, I'm pretty sure it was.

During the time at the restaurant, he talks more about how he does miss me, and he's spent a lot of time thinking about me, particularly since he was drinking at RY and CD's house party, and he starts thinking more when he's drinking. It was also pretty much the first party he's been at without me while he's been here.

At some point I decide to reach over and we start holding hands, sometimes just one, sometimes he'll take my one hand in both of his. A few times he pulls my hand over and kisses it. By the end we've reached further across the table, and are now keeping our fingertips on each other's arms. Whenever he gives my hand a little squeeze, or kisses it, he mentions how he's missed this.

When we get up to leave, I have to go to the bathroom, so I excuse myself, and as I walk past him, he brushes his hand against my bare shoulder.

Before we get in the car to leave, he pulled me towards him into a big hug. More statements about how he's missed this. Much leaning his head on mine. And then the classic scene. He pulls away just a bit while still hanging on to me, rests his forehead against mine, and kisses me. Not a full blown kiss, but not just a brush either. Rather like a first date kiss.

We get in the car and decide to head to the 24-hour Wal-Mart. Apparently just to hang out, but there's always stuff to buy at Wal-Mart.

We hang out in the electronics/movies/games department for a while, and as we look, we start getting closer. He'll put a hang on my shoulder. He'll cross both his arms around me from behind. He'll put an arm around my waist. Stuff like that.

Finally when we're buying him socks and boxers, we start to hold hands.

We don't talk much on the drive back to his place. When we get there, he doesn't invite me in for a round of some game or another, but rather says he should get to bed.

But I'm not about to let him off that easily. I ask him what tonight was all about. He says that he's been missing me, that he'll never really forget what I did, but this that and the other thing, and we can just take things slow and see what happens.

This is where we start spilling some of the things we've been thinking for the past while. I confess to sleeping with RB, while he confesses to sleeping with some other girl. Nobody thinks any less of the other for it, so it's all good.

I confess some of my fears about getting back together, in that maybe he's just doing it because he's lonely, and doesn't know what else to do. I'll feel like I'm walking on eggshells, and always afraid I'll make some tiny mistake.

He seems to shoot them all down, saying this isn't a desperation decision, that there's only one mistake I'd have to worry about, and he's sure that won't happen again because I have more self control now. He also mentions that he doesn't want to hurt me again, and asks me what I want to do, because he hates hurting me and doesn't want it to come to that again. He again says that we can just go slow, keep this our secret, our 'forbidden love', and see where it goes.

He mentions that RY wouldn't really like his decision, but he's also not his mother and he can do whatever he wants. He tells me that RY made him tell him what was up. So I know RY knows what I did, and we're pretty sure it's a safe assumption that CD knows now too. BG doesn't know whether RY dislikes me at all because of it, so that's still up in the air.

I ask him what he wants. He says I know what he wants, but I ask him again, because I like to hear these things out loud. Funny, I can't actually remember what exactly he said, but I'm assuming he said he wanted to try again, because otherwise I would be way more apprehensive about this whole situation that I am, so that must be good.

I also ask him not to let this kind of stuff continue if he comes to the conclusion that nothing's going to come to this. He very willingly agrees. Good man.

He proceeds to give me a light kiss goodnight. Which escalates to a more passionate kiss. Which escalates still into full out making out session in the car, along with some touching and otherwise kissing as well.

As a side note, he had offered me some gum earlier, and I'm very proud of how well I was able to manage the gum during this make out session. He must have done it well too, because I'm pretty sure he had his piece as well.

When we finally finish with that, I remind him of how I thought we were taking this slow. He comments that maybe we should just take the relationship part slow, because we're obviously both horny, and we need to get our hormones out of the way somehow. But for now, he has to go to bed. He says I should text him tomorrow if I have time, and that should he get off work on time, we can go out for food or whatever.

Until the next big thing,


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