Tuesday, March 9, 2010


I know I haven't been on here in forever and a day, but I just had some thoughts that I'm pretty sure the rest of the world wouldn't appreciate.

PS, me and BG are now not and item, but me and KS totally are. It's pretty awesome. And he has a great ass.

Second of all, all the people of my work can be divided up into these categories: old and gray, short and stocky, speaks only broken english, or doesn't know when to shut up. Oh, and of course some people fall into multiple categories.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of people there I really do like, and a lot of them are pretty nice. But they're not great people to be around when I'm not in a great mood.

Second of all, watching 1812 live turned me on more than any other music ever has.

Until the next big thing,


Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Quick Note

I heard this ages ago, but have just had a chance to post it now. Apparently RB and MH have been 'casually dating' for a while now. Must be very casual for RB to have done the things he's done!

Also, me and CD seem to be getting better. Neither of us has mentioned the incident, but we're starting to hang out, with RY and the boy, all four of us like we used to. It's pretty nice.

More stuff as I hear about it. Things will probably pick up now that's school started and Stampede band with it.

Until the next big thing,


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Make Up and Make Out

Quick news. I went to pick up BG a few nights ago and found us hanging out with RY and CD. And CD was pleasant. More than pleasant. Downright friendly. I take this as a good sign. I hope it progresses further, because this is feeling good.

And I hung out with RB the other night. We went back to his place to visit with his kittens. Which are totally. Freaking. Adorable. I love them.

However, we also did other activities. Use your imagination. But not to it's full extent.

That's all that shall be said, now and forevermore. I also promise that this is the only time that I'll be elusive on this blog.

Until the next big thing,


Friday, August 21, 2009

The Tour

So, I'm finally back from tour. I don't really have much to report.

I developed a crush on KS while we were there. Partly because I was probably trying to make up for not having my boy there, and partly because KS is just an awesome guy. Seriously.

Other than that, not much to report.

Oh, except that I heard of this thing going on at school. Apparently there's something about DY and EM 'hooking up' or something, except I think both of them already have significant others, and something about MM reminding EM of this fact, and her getting mad at him, and now they're not talking, and I really don't know exactly what's going on.

All this info is from hearing MMG talk about it to SB on tour, but when me and AB jumped in to ask what was actually going on, he wouldn't go into more detail.

I guess I might hear more about it when school starts. Or maybe it'll resolve itself, and I won't hear more about it at all. We'll have to see I suppose.

And apparently BG attracts cougars. Right in front of me. Which is a wonderful experience.

Until the next big thing,


Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Continued Battle

I'm getting really tired of all this business with CD. Seriously.

A few days ago he blogged about me again. Actually used my name this time, for a change, but even so.

He basically said that he understands that he didn't handle the situation very well, but for some reason, even after all that I did to him, and I hurt him, he still feels strangely drawn to me, and he doesn't know why. He also wondered at the end why I did all this to hurt him, his family, and his friends.

My only response is this. If he understands that he didn't handle things well, why is he still continuing to not handle things well? Like, for instance, still talking on his blog as if he's directly talking to me. Sorry, mate, that's not what a blog is for. And if he still feels drawn to me, why is he not calling me? Or messaging me? Or basically doing anything to contact me directly, as opposed to through his blog?

You can pretty much see my basic belief on all this. Honestly, there have been times that I really would just like to call him, just because I'm sick of all of this, and I just want to settle it, whether it's for better or for worse. But then he goes and does another blog, and I'm reminded by how much this is more his issue than mine and...

I don't even know. I've ranted about this so much, I just feel like I'm repeating myself. But still. I'm not calling him because I really want to see if he'll figure out that the best way to fix something is to actually talk to people, instead of blogging about them. Interesting concept, I know.

I have more issues with having to talk to him, but those shall be for another time, I think.

Meanwhile, a bunch of us went to see Harry Potter 6 yesterday. Very awesome movie.

I told MK about this blog, and she seemed very bent on finding it. Her and DM are dating, which I think is really cute. He's a good guy.

Oh, I also told MK about almost everything that's happened. For me once telling myself that I wouldn't be spreading to word about all of this, I seem to be telling a lot of people about it.

Until the next big thing,


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Catch Up

Oh my goodness. I apologize for being away for so long, but it just felt like there was so much to deal with, and the longer I waited, more everything built up.

So I shall try to catch up with all the important bits, try to include as many details as I can, and then hopefully become a better blogger for all of you.

Me and BG are back together. I know, I totally turned him down last time. But a while after that we went out again, and he texted me before saying he had something important to talk about. How did I know it was going to be about this?

Anyways, he just talked to me about how he really did miss me and he's been in a bad mood for a while because he misses being close to me and such on and so forth. He said again that it was still my decision, to which I asked him what he wanted, kinda because I was sick of him always saying that it was up to me. It was a very good sign when he answered that he wanted me, without any hesitation at all.

I never recall actually telling him yes, we would try again, but what with all the acting close again, and the texting saying that we miss each other...I think he got the point. So now, here we are, trying again.

So the funny thing is, a few days after that happened, I got a message from RB. He was saying that our night together was amazing, and he felt totally comfortable, and it might have even have changed some of his views and opinions about sex. He said that if I ever wanted a repeat experience, that could potentially happen. We have a wonderful opportunity to grow, and try new things, and seeing as we both seemed to feel perfectly comfortable with each other, we could experiment together.

But now, obviously, that's not going to happen. I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit disappointed. But oh well.

Anyways, now I'm just trying to deal with the fact that I'm back in this love/hate relationship with BG. Because that's really what it is. Although I do think he is making an effort to be better. He's been really close with me whenever we go out, and he's starting to kiss me more. And the type of kisses I like, not those stupid little pecks. So we'll just see how this works, although so far it's feeling good. I do have my little moments where I start to worry that I made the wrong choice, but...well, I'm trying not to panic too much. I think it's mostly just me over thinking things.

Well, I think that's everything important. I will really make an effort to explain things as they happen from now on, so that you get a little more detail, and not just facts.

Until the next big thing,


Monday, July 6, 2009

The Whole Story

After a very busy weekend, I'm finally back to tell you of it all.

The most important thing happened on Friday. I was all set to go to bed early, because me and a bunch of work buddies were planning on going to Calaway Park the next morning. Then BG texts, and of course, we end up going out for food.

We chit-chat, and I try to be involved, and not too caught up with my thoughts. He talked on the way back to his place, so I didn't really have a moment to bring anything up until we were actually outside his place.

Last Tuesday I had pretty much figured out that this wasn't going to happen. And so I said to him that this isn't going anywhere. He agreed. I asked him if he ever expected it to, and he said yes.

We talked a lot more, about a lot of things, and he said that he was hesitant to get back together with me because he knew that he hurt me, mostly because he doesn't have the time for me that I want him to have, and he's used to not seeing his girlfriend for days at a time, but I'm not, and he doesn't want to hurt me more.

I then replied, after warning him that it was a spiteful comment, that in that case, he shouldn't have made me fall back in love with him. He said that I made it sound like I had never fallen out of love with him. To which I told him that I'm a romantic. That's not what I do.

He said it was my choice whether we should get back together or not, and he's neutral, and it's my choice whether we stop now while we're still friends, or get together and potentially ruin what could be a friendship by trying to force a relationship into it. He still wants to be in my life, whether it be as boy or as boyfriend.

At that point, I said it would be as boy. I kind of knew that was how it would end up, even if I was given the choice, but I wasn't completely sure until listening to that last shpeal. The more he talked, the more I heard answers I didn't want to hear, and the more I thought that the guy who I want would not be saying any of this. To the contrary, the guy I want would not just be saying he didn't want to hurt me, he would actually be proactive in trying not to hurt me, rather than just accepting that he would still do it, and he would definitely not be neutral in that whole deal, he would be saying that he wants to be with me. Anyways.

He sort of suggested a kiss goodbye, but I shot that down. He doesn't seem to understand the whole 'personal space' thing after a breakup. Even though this wasn't a real breakup, but even so.

Of course, that meant I got a total of 4 hours of sleep and then I had to get up early for Calaway Park. Which sucked. But the day was fun, besides HG rear ending me on our way to park the cars. Fun. Now I have a call an insurance person tomorrow. There's not even any real damage, but Dad still mentioned that if they could fix what did happen, that would be good and I don't even know what I'm going to say.

And mini-donuts are awesome. We got caught in a freak rain downpour at the park, and all the rides closed for about 20 minutes, and everybody was hiding out beneath the tents around the park. That was eventful.

I went to the bar after a 2 hour power nap that night. The bar part was fun, but then we moved over to the dance section, which wasn't as fun. Not many people dance at The Drum and Monkey and the music's not great, and there was a bunch of older guys in cowboy hats. I have nothing against cowboy hats, I actually really like them, but they seemed to be all older guys, which wasn't so fun. Plus, I wasn't drinking all that much, so I think I have to have a lot more to drink before I start dancing with older cowboys. So as soon as my mood turned for the worse, I jumped in a cab and headed home.

Which was not a bad plan, seeing as I had to be up early anyways to go to Drumheller with HG and a bunch of other friends. Which was also a fun trip, and a got a decent sleep before hand. We did the Museum, Reptile World (I held a snake), the World's Biggest Dinosaur, and the Hoo Doos. Which a little bit of getting lost in between, but it was all part of the experience. Great views. I love the Alberta land, it's gorgeous.

Didn't do much today except call RT to finalize plans for Stampede on Wednesday, and Taylor Swift. We're very excited for that. Dad got me a pass for meet and greet beforehand, so that's another thing to look excited for.

I also had to ask Mom for some money for that day, because after this weekend, and as I'm barely working over the summer, I'm broke. Thinking of applying for the Jack Singer as an usher. HG is, and MM's even thinking of applying to UTS, which would be a blast. Kind of worrying about working two jobs, even if they are ushering jobs. I have a habit of biting off more than I can chew. Might talk to Mom and Dad, though I'm pretty sure they'll be worried about it too, and more likely than not will not exactly be thrilled with the idea.

Until the next big thing,